Shop with us at our newly renovated storefront located at 23 2nd Ave. in Huntingdon, Tennessee!

As I sit in my car at 1:06 p.m. on a Thursday afternoon while my son takes a nap in his car seat, I have a lot of thoughts racing through my mind. I feel both lucky to be able to sit in this car while he takes his nap, but it feels confining at the same time. I feel a desire to drive home, take his limp body out of the car, and put him in the bed so I can nap beside him. I also have a desire to sit in my car and read a self-help book or work on my website. Part of me wants to drive to the post office to ship orders while he sleeps so that I can cross that daunting task off my to-do list. I also need to get online and order product for and upcoming bedroom install. But most of all, I just want to sit here and write...

I am actually sitting in the driveway at our “new” house. Currently, we live in a small 1930 farmhouse, but we bought a 1974 ranch-style home almost a year ago. We have been waiting for renovations to begin for what feels like forever, and they finally started this week. That’s another story for another day.

I am not coming here today to write about renovations or a bedroom reveal like I have done in the past. I am not coming here to give design tips or to talk about vintage furniture. Today, I am reflecting on seasons. I am reflecting on change. I am reflecting on energy shifts.

Lately, I have been journaling a lot. Doing a lot of checking in. When I journal, I write out the same simple outline every day so that I don’t get bogged down with what to write. I always write out what excited me about the previous day and what tasks drained me from the previous day. What did I want to do more of? What did I want to do less of? What did I dread? What did I love? These questions will reveal so much about your life and the systems you have in place, I can assure you. I have learned a lot about myself just in the last month.

A month or so has passed since I started incorporating the “what excited me” and “what bogged me down” portion to my morning reflection. After reading through my own responses, it has become very clear to me that I need to let some things go. For so long, I have wanted to be all the things. A wonderful mother, a great wife, a successful storefront owner, vintage expert, an interior designer, an artist….just ALL. THE. THINGS…and it wasn’t until recently that I could sense a shift coming in my life.

 I found out I was pregnant with our second child in August of 2022. We are also renovating a house. In October, we bought an old auto body shop that will eventually become my store, which we also have to renovate. I am also still doing design work for clients…and painting for galleries…and running a storefront. It’s just….a lot.

I am now heading into my third trimester, and this whole pregnancy, I knew deep down that I was doing too much. I knew I was juggling a crazy amount of tasks, with too many tabs open in my brain. I kept telling myself that I would figure it all out when the time was right, but I continued to add more to my plate as 2022 marched on.  I have been constantly trying to come up with the perfect schedule to accommodate working at the store, sourcing for the store, catering to an ever-growing list of design clients, finding time to create, and being a present mother and wife.

It wasn’t until December when we found out that Worth’s daycare was closing for good, that I decided to sit down and actually get clear on some things. What is important to me? What do I enjoy? What stresses me? What actually makes money? What doesn’t? What are some things in my life that I can eliminate? What are the priorities in my life? In 5 years, when I look back on this time, what will I wish I did more of? Less of? What needs to shift? Can I let go of anything?

I think it takes a lot of courage to admit that you need to change course. It takes a lot of inner work to be able to actually slow down and notice your thoughts, especially as a business owner. It's so easy to just perform on autopilot. When I finally took the time to dig deep and notice the things that were causing stress, the answer was plain as day. But it was also very surprising at the same time. I finally narrowed it down and figured out I cannot continue design work for others right now. Right now.

When I admitted this to myself, I felt like a failure. I felt like I started something I couldn’t finish. I felt like I built hype around something that didn’t essentially “go anywhere.”  I even felt like my previous projects were not worthy. A whole lot of limiting beliefs came up. And a lot of confusion and frustration. Why am I all of a sudden feeling like this? Because I am absolutely ADDICTED to the feeling of finishing a space, of watching it all come together. I love the way it makes the clients feel. I love watching their reactions. Heck, I even love thew way it makes me feel. It’s hard to beat the feeling you get at the end of a project. But just because that gratification feels good, doesn’t mean it is the right path for me. Right now.

The reality is… we are about to be renovating our forever home. We are renovating an old body shop. We are having our second baby. We have a very busy toddler. He’s not in daycare. I still want to paint. I still want to create. I still want to feel like myself. I can only give proper attention to so many things. I can only function on so much coffee. Eventually, I will have to sleep at night again. On top of that, I want to be good at what I do. I want to take pride in my projects and be able to devote the necessary time and attention to each job. I want to feel a sense of accomplishment, not constant overwhelm.

So while this decision has been a difficult one, I have fully decided to pull back from design services for now. For now. I don’t know how long this will last, but it feels like the right move at this point in our journey. I have been helping others with their spaces for almost three years now. Wow. THREE years. So yes, I am a little sad…but mostly relieved. And don’t worry! If you are already on my waiting list, you are grandfathered in!

I am excited for this change. I believe change is good. I believe it is a sign of growth and emotional maturity when you can self-assess and change course. Listen to your wants. Listen to your needs. Listen to your body. Listen to the energy surrounding your thoughts. Chances are, if something is wrong, you already know it somewhere within the realm of your being. You just have to find the courage to admit when something needs to shift. If it’s not a “hell yes,” then it’s a “hell no.” That’s a phrase I’ve been hearing a lot recently, and it’s a phrase I will be carrying in my pocket all of 2023.

But it's also important to remember that nothing is permanent if you don't want it to be. That's why I keep telling myself that this is just for now. If I want to come back to working with clients when my life isn't so freaking hectic, I totally can. I need to remember that I'm allowed to change my mind at any point. I am allowed to do what's best for the present moment.

I am looking forward to being more present with my family and to pour my heart and soul into our home renovation and store renovation. I am looking forward to being a hands-on mom. And I might even cook dinner more than once every 2 months. LOL. I am hoping that my time away from working with clients will open room for opportunity. I am hoping to free up some time on my calendar so that I am not running ragged all the time. You simply cannot make new discoveries, create freely or explore interests when you are so busy and tired. And us creatives need room to try new things, fail, try some more new things, learn, and expand. So here’s to leaning into those energy shifts! Here’s to listening to your thoughts, and being proactive in creating a life that feels totally aligned and authentic. I’m pumped.