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When I was a child, you could find me either riding a bike, playing sports, or creating art. I moved in with my grandparents in Union City, Tennessee after my mother passed away in July of 1999. As a 7-year-old dealing with loss, I think I used art as a way to cope with the big emotions that I otherwise did not have the capacity to process. The act of creating something beautiful and novel has always felt right. I used to sit in my grandmother’s chaise lounge every night after supper watching TV, eating ice cream and making everything from ornaments to picture frames to greeting cards. I stored all of my “materials” under that chaise, and she always called it my “rat’s nest.” It still makes me laugh to this day. 

Today, I use my artwork as a creative outlet to express the contradicting emotions that surface after experiencing a death. Now that I am an adult, I know how to identify and recognize the different stages of grief. At age 30, I have lost my mother, a close high school friend, my brother, and two grandparents.

My artwork explores the parallels between the creative process and the grieving process, as both are inconsistent and extremely messy. Both require a lot of attention while also allowing freedom for growth. My work is multi-faceted, as I incorporate paint, scraps of vintage paper, old black and white photos, tattered fabrics, and other items I find while sourcing for my vintage store. My pieces exude joy while the juxtaposition of black and white with color represents the up and down pattern of the feelings experienced in the midst of heartache. I believe in giving life to old, forgotten pieces. I like to take something that is worn out, tired, and overworked and make it into something that is fresh, joyful and aesthetically pleasing. I hope the art I make and the vintage pieces I source will continue to make people smile for generations to come. 

In the month my brother passed away, I saw fifteen rainbows, with one appearing directly over the funeral home after his burial. On the darkest days of my life, these rainbows somehow brought a peace that I cannot explain. In my paintings, I use acrylic paints, oil pastels, ink pen, watercolors, paper scraps and soft pastels layered on top of acrylic adhesive to create an abstract image that triggers positive emotions. The bright colors often rest on top of a darker, looming background, with the jovial colors remaining the main focus. Marks of darker oil pastels are layered on top of the colors to suggest that the pain which accompanies loss never fully disappears, yet it dissipates over time. My collage pieces incorporate many of the same elements, with colors often displayed in rainbow order alongside black and white repetitive markings. 

In the way that rainbows are formed after darkness and rain, the concept behind my rainbow paintings was born after incomparable loss. The paintings serve as a reminder that because of death, we have life. They serve as a symbol of joy and hope because there are brighter days coming, if we can change our perspective.   

I try not to take life or creating too seriously. I believe you should make what you want. I don’t have too many rules to follow, which is calming. I find great peace painting in our backyard shed that we converted into my home studio. The space is bright, healing and inspiring. 

The intention behind my work is to influence the way people view grief and to encourage positive action after loss. We get this one life. I hope to encourage others to continue to work on themselves day in and day out. There is no space in my life for allowing things or people to waste away. There is hope, promise, and goodness around every corner if we are willing to look.

xx, Paige