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I have been trying to stay aware of the energy I bring to the table in all sorts of situations. I think just being aware of yourself, your thoughts, your words, your actions and your energy can go a long way. Being cognizant of the energy you carry can benefit your relationships, your business, your marriage, the way you parent, etc. 

Everything holds energy. A simple “hello” can carry negative energy or positive energy. Even a certain look can give off a distinct vibe. A social media posts carries energy. A comment carries energy. The way you speak to your children. The way you speak to yourself and your spouse. The way you show up to work. A space in your house can give off inspiring energy or draining energy. Even certain foods or drinks can carry a vibe. Have you ever walked into a person’s house or a coffee shop or a party and the energy was just off?

When I think of the vibe or the energy I want to bring to certain situations or conversations, I do not want to give off negative energy if I can help it. I want to be a person who brings high vibrations to this world if I can. Of course, we all have bad days. We are human and I know life is ugly. Every person in this world is going through something hard. Every single one of us. It’s okay to have your bad days, ugly cry, let it out, get angry and deeply feel your emotions. It’s important to allow yourself to truly sit with your emotions and process them so that you can also let them go after you have had your time with them. I’m not good at letting things go, but I’m working on it. I think there is power in admitting that lettings things go can be hard. But there is also power in releasing things you cannot change and not allowing those things to impact your overall energy. 

Lately I have been trying to notice how I feel about things. I try to think about certain situations, tasks, relationships, places and experiences and pay attention to how that one thing makes me feel in my body. Does my body have a negative reaction to it? Does my heart sink? Does my stomach hurt? Do I get anxious and worried? Or do I feel uplifted, inspired, and excited when I think about that thing?

I have been practicing noticing how my body reacts, but I try to notice without judgement. For example, I do not beat myself up or berate myself if my body reacts negatively to something. I simply use that reaction as information. It’s so helpful to be self-aware enough to know if a situation makes you feel good or bad. You can use that reaction to help you make decisions for the future. Have you ever tried doing LESS of what you don’t like and MORE of what you do like? Have you ever tried doing LESS of what brings you down and MORE of what lifts you up? 

As a business owner and busy mom, it can be really easy to show up as a stressed-out version of myself. Stress is almost default for me because I just have so many irons in the fire. I am juggling so much at once. But who wants to be a walking ball of stress all the time? Who wants to be that person? Constantly living in a state of rush and stress and negativity literally does not serve you or anyone around you. It can actually make people want to avoid you because they don’t want you to bring them down. 

When I think of everyday, tangible examples of ENERGY, my mind goes to the people I have a lot of interactions with throughout my week. This includes my husband, my children, my employees, my mother-in-law, my aunt, my customers and my friends. Have you ever noticed that a lot of us put our best foot forward for those people we don’t spend much time with, and then we save our leftovers for the people closest to us? I am totally guilty of that. But fixing that problem all begins with awareness. Being aware of yourself. 

Right before I know I’m about to be around someone, I check in and ask myself, “What type of energy do I want to bring to this interaction?” I don’t typically want people to leave after hanging out with me and feel worse than they did before they spent time with me. I want to leave people better than I found them.  However, I am not perfect. Even after I check in and tell myself to BRING GOOD VIBES, sometimes I still fail and bring bad vibes. Again, I am human. But I am working on being aware.

A real-life example: 

When I have been working the store all day long and one of my girls walks in to take my place for the afternoon, instead of immediately going into work mode and handing her a list of tasks to complete while I’m gone, I try to be a human for a minute. I try to ask how she’s doing. I try to ask about how she is feeling. I try to ask if she is feeling stressed for any reason. I ask how the boyfriend scene is doing. I ask how school is going. Life is not all about work and my to-do list. These girls have lives outside of Little Yellow Door, and as their boss, it’s important to check in with them. I want to know the ins and outs of their lives so I can know how I can best support them and show up for them. I want work to actually be a bright spot in their day. Our society has conditioned us to believe that work is supposed to suck. Nope. I'm not buying it. Whatever you do for work actually does NOT have to suck, and checking in on your work friends and genuinely caring about what they have to say is a way to help you love your job more.

If you are a business owner or a leader of any sort, resting in those moments and just simply asking, “How are you today?” can go a really long way. 

Another example of a time I often “check my energy” is right before my husband comes home from work. This can sometimes be a stressful time of day. I’m sure you know the drill. I’ve been with the kids all day, the house is a wreck, I’m stressed from the weight of the day.  It can be really easy to be short or hateful in those moments, but I often tell myself to pay attention to the energy I’m carrying when he walks through that door. He has also possibly had a stressful day and feels tired. If I’m in a bad mood the minute he gets home, how does that set the tone for the rest of the night? And hey, the pendulum swings both ways, honey! Sometimes he can come in and I have to remind him to check his energy. I’ll say something like, “Your energy is off,” and this not only brings awareness to the tone we’re setting in our home, but it also begs us to quickly check in with ourselves to determine why the energy might be off. I heard on a podcast just today that you have the ability to shift your energy at any point in your day. Just because you have a bad morning doesn’t mean the whole day has to be bad. Just because someone says something rude to you doesn’t mean the whole rest of the day is shot. You can’t control what happens to you, but you can control your reactions. 

I don’t want anyone to think I’m encouraging toxic positivity here. If you’ve had some bad things happen to you, I am not asking you to ignore them and pretend that everything is okay when it’s not. If you are in a season of deep grief, you are probably not going to be bringing “good vibes” all the time, and that’s okay. I truly believe there is a season for everything. However, I don’t think that grief should be used as an excuse to treat others poorly. Like I said earlier, we are all going through something or have been through something. We all have our stuff. So just be kind and treat others the way you would like to be treated. Sometimes when we get clear on why our energy is negative, it can help us move forward in a more productive way.

So, I want you to start paying attention to the energy you bring. When you’re in a group of people, is your default conversation starter something positive or are you always talking about something negative? Or worse, are you always talking negatively about other people? When you look at your social media posts, are you bringing positive energy and hopeful messages to the world, or are you constantly complaining? When you think back to your interactions with others, are the words coming out of your mouth positive or negative? Have you ever heard of “woe is me” people? Ugh, those people are the worst. Do you try to be a bright spot in someone’s day?  If your child is in a bad mood, do you think they might be feeding off your negative energy? 

There is a lot to think about here. A lotttt to unpack. But if you make a habit of checking your energy, it becomes easier and easier. And here is a little business tip: customers want to buy from people and products that make them feel good. It’s basic psychology. People want to feel seen, supported, loved and they want to feel good. It all comes back to energy. So again, what energy are you bringing? 

If you are truly going through something deep right now and you just cannot fathom being in a good mood, there are a ton of things you could try that might help you claw your way out of that dark hole. Because trust me, I’ve been there a time or two myself. If you are stuck in bed, crying, upset, in your head, and feeling anxious or even depressed try one (or a few) of these. You don’t have to run a marathon. Just take one step. 

-take a shower 

-go for a walk outside for just 30 minutes 

-turn on an uplifting podcast 

-write whatever comes to your mind in a journal for 3 full pages 

-go thrifting 

-take your shoes off and walk on the ground 

-sit in the sunshine

-make a smoothie 

-read a book to your child 

-put your phone away for a set amount of time 

-read 10 pages of a book 

-call a trusted friend 

-text your spouse to tell them you love them 

-grab a coffee treat

-make a simple, healthy meal 

-read a devotional 

-go for a drive with no set destination 

-sit by a body of water 

-sit in the woods 

-serve someone else 

And never feel like a failure for seeking out a professional therapist. I truly think everyone needs a therapist! I've been in and out of therapy over the past few years, but more on that in another post!

I love these deep, meaningful conversations. I hope you enjoy reading. Let me know what you think! I’d love to hear about your experiences with energy. 

Love y’all! 

Paige